Things I just got to live with.

Uhm, I like poptarts.

Okay as you may have noticed, or not. I haven’t posted any content on my blog for the past few days, but to be precise – that would be ten days until now. During that gap of  time I’ve done nothing but read, read and read, and eat, then read and eat, and mess with Onion (my cousin)

I guess that part was exaggerated, but between those reads and eats were absent and motionless, dormant moments. And as you obviously know, but if you are oblivious I shall explain, during these alone times, thinking deeply and pondering life itself is an inevitable action.

So on this post I’d like to share a few pieces of what I’ve come upon on my experiments and  discoveries while trapped in my mind.

I categorized my findings into one group, I’ve expected it to be separated into more groups but it seems it hasn’t.

And this one group share the same definition “Things that I just got to live with”

Yes. That is it.

You see, that name was inspired not by the fact of hopelessness but because it’s a universal fact, it’s something that I can’t change myself.

Alright first thing, I soon have to be alone. Alright, meaning by “alone” is being far away from my family, having my own life, paying my bills and feeding myself, and recuperating from bad losses and strive to go back on top and fix the consequences from it. I don’t like this. Half of me feels like “OH YES I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT, NO MORE RULES, I HAVE MY OWN DOUGH, OWN HOUSE BLA BLA” and my other half is like “Awh dang it, I don’t want to leave my family, I can’t live without their accompaniment and their unique and splendor comfort” 

And a sub factor to this realization? No half wins.

The world will end. Alright, on this part, I don’t claim to know when it ends or things like it. I just somehow feel it would end, I’m a Catholic and I’ve read numerous reports according to a prophecy on the bible, and it somehow connects with the present world, but anyhow if you’re not religious – it seems the earth is falling, with the pollution, destructive actions by the ignorant, and selfish business men who would get their way around and never mind the destruction of the environment, just to get their money’s worth and interests back, even if live’s are taken. That’s so evil.

Lastly, death is inevitable. As a younger teenager back at the years (currently turning seventeen next year) I never thought of death, I always accepted the life I had without the thoughts of dying, accepting life’s linear cycle but I never examined its end. I was happy go lucky back then, ignorant, I just took each day one at a time. But until now, it has changed. Since being left here as an individual and not as a part of a family I’ve realized that death, it’s not scary after all. I mean, I’m slightly scared to go farther from my family and not be able to read anymore, but it’s not as strong that I’d do anything not to die. If I die, then die. From accepting this horrible truth, and realizing the beautiful lie, I’ve decided to be a better person each day of my dwindling life span, accepting failures, learning from them and improving every aspect of my life, and doing my best to go out of that dark spot of ignorance and to strive to know the bad, but not do, and experience even the smallest things life can offer.

Thanks for reading guys.

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Ivan Matthew

Hi! I'm Ivan. Reality is I sucked at English 101 but I love to read and write stuff. Thanks for passing by.

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