“You are what your friends are.”

Words to keep in mind.

I’ve been told by my parents a lot of times already “choose your friends!” “Don’t hang out with that boy, he’s a bad influence!” “Don’t get a girlfriend!” and I’m sure all these comes down to one thing, you are what your friends are.

Alright first thing, I don’t really have a lot of friends, which I’m happy about because I got to develop my own independent style, not like others who follow the streams of what’s on and what’s accepted in their small circle of friends. But I’ve seen many circumstances where people change to what others think about them. Which again comes to my point, you are what your friends are.

I have a friend who is a great example of this short phrase, I’m not naming him though because if I did, things may happen.

Alright, to give a clear “image” let’s name him Jhon Doe. A name used for people who are basically unknown, commonly used by investigators who can’t figure out the victim or the suspect ( at least that’s what I know )

My High School friends, you can see me wearing that green shirt.

Okay, Jhon Doe has his friends, he’s been a friend of mine and I could I say, I know who he is, wait, let me rephrase that – who he WAS.

The frequency of our hang outs lessened by the days and was completely obliterated when I left for Philippines. His friends I knew, for they were my friends too, more like acquaintances, and were all Facebook popular so I at least knew the basics about them.

A few months after I came back, I kept my profile low and notified only the closest, of my arrival. I met up with Jhon Doe and I could say, damn, what has happened?

He’s become like his friends. He adapted to their vanity, indulgence in cockiness, and a wee bit overconfident, but I could see he was holding back. I do hope he realizes that. Oh yah, if ever you read this and you’re my friend and a male, don’t suspect you are “Jhon Doe” but let’s say you were, don’t worry – we’re cool!

Just be yourself.

Just be yourself.

So that’s an example and a big one. And it really is evident that you are what your friends are, and they too are what their friends are and if you are a friend of them? It’s best if you keep a good image of yourself. Not only do you keep yourself clean but also those around you.

I’ve caught myself sometimes too before, trying to “fit” in, but that was long long back. I’ve come to the conclusion that it would be healthier for the world to fit into me rather than my own self taking it on. It’s a big world we live on, containing a huge populace of 7 billion +, and there’s no point of being someone else – that’s cheap.

So I’m trying to say, though you could be what your friends are, you will always have control over how much they influence you or in simpler words their amount of control over you. Give yourself some slack and set yourself free, free from the imaginary manacles of society and be YOU. 

Though I’ve already made a point I’d also want to mention the things my parents said. Well…. I didn’t listen to most of them, yah yah, I’m a bad kid but it wasn’t because of rebellion or hate – I don’t hate my parents – it was about the curiosity. I sometimes rue the times where my curiosity would just kill me and take over but that’s what happened. And from the things I’ve seen and done because of this thing you called “curiosity” I could say you definitely are what your friends are, gladly I saved myself earlier enough from the sad phenomena.

One last thing, since it’s an avoidable biological, social effect – I’d like to say, CHOOSE your friends wisely. If you are wanting to be smart, hang out with smart people. Wanting to be better at a sport or anything else? Be with the kind of people who do well in those. And you’ll be fine. I can’t wait to make friends though, I still am in need of companions.

Oh yah, listen to your parents! ( In case you’re like me, still in the juvenile stages of life! It would work best if you do so. ) and Thanks for reading guys!


[A question] What do you really think about this? Are you truly what your friends are? Comment below and share your thoughts! 😀



  1. One of my more recent discoveries about the world of friendship is that you really do have different friends for different things.
    I got upset because while going through a tough time i didnt feel inclined to tell my ‘closest friend’ all about it. In fact i worried about her reaction if i did. Instead i picked up the phone and called my ‘oldest friend’…not the 90year old but the one whom i have known since i was 5 (easy now with the old comments lol). this friend doesnt know the ins and outs of my current daily life, but she doesnt need to because she knows ME inside and out regardless. We spoke for hours as if the last time we had done so was only the day before when in reality it had been weeks – if not months.

    I realised that my ‘closest’ friend is the best one for socialising, for playing with my son, for going off the rails slightly…NOT for confiding in about my deepest darkest fears and secrets…and thats OK. We spend alot of time together, we can talk about some things and we have fun together. Thats the type of friendship we have.

    The one between my oldest friend and I is a closer bond, one built on our past which will stay with us forever and (hopefully) stand the test of time.

    You dont have to have the same kinds of friends, you will discover that you have ‘different friends for different things’ and they will love you for you. The people you surround yourself with should inspire you, encourage you (in the good way) and make you feel good – and of course you should have that effect on them too.


    1. I’ve had similar experiences too when I was seeking advice before, and it was pretty hard. But like you said, there are friends for different kinds of things, I just hope I meet the right ones 😀 Thanks for the words of wisdom too, I’ll keep that at heart 🙂


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