I thought of putting all my thoughts into one post (to make up for lost time) and not the normal one thought per post thing that I usually do. It makes the job of writing a lot easier (really).
So it’s about my insufferable social anxiety, the awkward multiplication of my procrastination level and a beautiful post I just read just after not being on my blog for about, let’s say hmm.. a week. Which I am not really proud about. Not only did I fail to post regularly and post consistent content to my readers (if I had any, but if I do – here’s a fist bump *bump* ), I also violated my post-a-day new year’s resolution. Which again I am not proud about.
Anxiety sucks you know? It really sucks. I can say I’m a fairly confident person. I can go up to a McDonald’s counter and order a Big Mac, I could go to a 24/7 convenience store and order an Axe roll on or I could even start witty conversations with the older people (which I don’t like really much). But here’s when that supposedly existing confidence goes. It goes down the drain. Wait.. what drain? .. Exactly! (It goes down to nowhere, that’s how elusive this confidence is!!) It goes away when I’m about (or know that I am about) to be in social contact with someone. Someone my own age, a bit older or younger. This even goes to greater heights when with a girl. It could be the shy ones, or the energetic all-about-themselves ones.
I just can’t stand it! I walk up to the person, and you know what I do? I rapidly conjure plans of what to do, predictions and after effects of what I would say or could. Somehow, I amaze myself to my ability to process this, when compared to when I try to use a function on a Math exam and that is even a harder task. My mind doesn’t even work as fast as I do as to the “pre-socializing” stage of socializing. If you have a fix for this, oh please! Comment below!
Okay we all know how procrastination is such a girl dog. Such a dang nabbit girl dog!! It always gets in the way and I’m sure we’ve all experienced this. It’s unbelievable how mom and dad withstood this wall of procrastination and be who they are today. Dad works hours, and does not procrastinate a bit nor does mom give up her paper work for the Oscars (oh yah by the way, GO JENNIFER LAWRENCE! Even though you tripped on the way up, you still looked hot!! wooott!!)
On a previous post of mine, I mentioned “Minecraft” and how it took most of my times. Well, now it’s doubled and it has become harder to do the things that I usually do before finding it out. I barely read now. I haven’t opened a book for the past three days (horrible). But I did get to build epic structures, and I feel very proud of myself!
Earlier I mentioned that, I haven’t been here for a week or so. And when I did think of coming over, I never expected anything awesome or life changing. Turns out, it wasn’t at all what I expected. I passed by a post written by a friend, who’s been in the blogging business for longer than I. She wrote about struggle. About beauty, and how beautiful people do not just happen. I had to comment on that and say what I felt. It was extremely, to the points of the atmospheres limits and the universe’s limits.. epic! There was just a small speck of perfect there in that post (really… you got to read it!) It was like an understanding of what we should all be knowing and realizing. About the formation of selves, and how pain instead should be embraced and seen as an opportunity to be better.
If you didn’t know, as of now I live in extreme recluse. I’m not in college yet, nor do I have friends that still exist here in the middle east. Most either have forgotten me, or are already busy with their futures. But during these reclusive times, I’ve become a young philosopher. I’ve grown to the habit of thinking, predicting and studying the emotions and faces of people. Of how life works.. and all that! But I do agree, the information that I do carry isn’t as great as the awesome philosophers that preceded me years and years back.
And “Ate Apple’s” post just really hit me there.. it did! To me, it was like an epic philosophical discovery.. I’m sure some would see it just as another post but it was different for me. (Especially for me.. I’m still a new kid in this world)
So you’ve got to read it! Take it in and understand. Thanks for reading guys.
To Castle Ivan’s original post on Minecraftforum.net! (Click to see other pictures around the Castle!) – Click Here!
Ate Apple’s (Little Cartographer) post, on Beautiful Struggle – Click Here!