Hey there! this post marks the new age of writing for me on this blog. Last I checked the most recent piece was from a little bit more than a year ago, that was quite a while.
I began this blog initially to practice writing and through the years it slowly became a medium for me to express a little bit of my feelings going through life and figuring things out. I recall writing about my first experiences living alone, dealing with college life in a hectic course and just being confused about my emotions all in all.
Now roughly 6 years into the process I’ve finally found a way to grab life by its neck (I really genuinely feel that). I’m graduating from college very soon and I’ll eventually will be fending for myself. Looking back it’s amazing to see how much I’ve progressed as an individual, maybe not as much as others but to see movement in my being gives me confidence that life does get better.
Along with renaming the blog from “Ivan’s Brain” to “Ivan 2.0” I’ve simplified the site and added some small variations to make it a little bit different from the previous layout, made it more readable per say. I think it’s a good way to begin this new thing that’s going on in my life and I’m absolutely excited that I’ve regained some passion for writing again.
So to conclude this post, I want to say that I still am clueless of my future – clueless in a sense that I’m aware of the possibilities and I see that there are many, clueless out of curiosity if that makes any sense.
One take away from all these years that I have come to realize is – we must be fearless. I figured that achieving my dreams would be a difficult feat and it meant that I need to undergo multiple transformations to reach it and the only way to weather it is to be LITERALLY fearless (in a smart way of course).
You may be wondering why do I have a bike as header for this post – that’s actually one of my dream bikes, the Kawasaki Ninja 400 which I plan to have in the next few years. I can tell you with no FEAR – I WILL have that bike. Watch out for that blog post about it soon, thanks for reading!
I haven’t been writing a lot, especially last 2016, I’ve only put a few posts up here and it really has been a while. One cool thing that I realized was how long this blog has been up here. It’s 2017 and five years ago from now was the birth of this blog, that’s a LONG while. I never had any goal back then I just wanted to write and still up until now that has been its purpose. Writing truly is an art – instead of colors you manipulate words and ultimately like any piece of art create feeling and emotion through your work.
I’d like to talk about family. Today is the last day of my Christmas vacation – a twelve day span of bonding and goodness. Exactly an hour after now I’ll be taking an Uber to the airport and I’m off, back to Cebu where the grind is back on.
Cebu’s hectic I tell you, there is so much to do – every step I take puts me closer to my goal of becoming an architect, the only thing that pulls me back sometimes is the lack of family, I’m alone there – most of the time. Yeah yeah friends are great I’ve made precious relationships and I can really consider them family but “family” the true originals will never be the same.
My vacation here consisted of that, visiting and revisiting old memories and relatives – more or less it’s been a nostalgic ride to memory lane, where the old stayed old as if the last ten years never passed and the young grew up so fast for me to comprehend. Things change so quickly but despite time taking its toll nothing ever disconnected family.
I lived the past days in a condo unit my uncle owned, who lives in the US right now, with my brother and cousins. It was a great time getting to know their lives now and recall what it was years back – meeting their friends and just having a good time.
Ultimately I needed this, it was a break off what seemed to me a world that would never change, my reality – but to only realize that what I am going through is just another fantasy, my real world is where my family is.
By the way, Happy new year! Let’s smash 2017!
I was on my bed scrolling down and up through my Facebook timeline a while ago and it hit me – I’m literally walking in a sea of strangers. This made me think of how social media has made it so easy for people to come into our lives and for them to allow others into theirs so quickly. Not realizing how detrimental it is to real life and substantial connections.
With that thought I went in a mode of “decluttering” my facebook profile. So there I went unfriending and unfollowing (for acquaintances LOL) until I felt that scrolling up and down wasn’t that useless already.
Before I move on to my deeper thoughts here’s my checklist before unfriending/unfollowing someone:
1. ) You’re someone who I think won’t care for what I do
2.) You post uninteresting things. On a note it’s subjective.
3.) I just don’t know you.
Side note : I won’t because I think you’re cool.
On to the main show…
I actually did this because my timeline started to become a place of longing and fear. Longing for things I wish could happen in my life (which I needed to work on and be patient for) from people who I didn’t know or may not even care about me. Fear because this form of social media wasn’t social to me at all. Because all the people I cared about were drowned in a sea of people whom I thought I knew or were just plain strangers. And if facebook was all about connecting people you cared about I wasn’t able to do that.
I did this because I wanted connectivity and substance. To be part of things that the people I cared about cared about (what?) and see more of what I cared about in general. If I were to do this I needed to take off the weeds for new growth of something better.
So if you’re reading this and you have no affiliation with me on Facebook unfriend me. We’d both be doing ourselves a favor.
Thanks for reading!
I kinda wish I was more careful with accepting requests before. Here’s a song that I listened to while writing this.