People not Objects

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I just recently lost something really important to me. I’ve never put in so much care and dedication to one thing and losing it was a huge blow. It was so weird to realize how much it actually affected me, it put me in a state of anger, hatred and negativity that it took me off guard.

Looking back I’m actually thankful that it happened. It opened my eyes to how much value I give to material things and how toxic it was. To a point out of anger I told my girlfriend it was more important than her – and that was wrong. SO WRONG. How can such a small thing make say things like that – objects are objects and people are people. They are not the same thing nor should they both have equal importance.

This experience has led me to rethink my life. To rethink how things affect how I feel and what truly matters to me. Today I let go of that, let go of the materialistic identity and transfer all the focus I had on it into things that truly matter the MOST. And that’s to my family, loved ones and people.

Deeply I am saddened. Saddened that I lost something that I worked really hard to get and experienced so many awesome events with it. But really all it was a medium to those experiences, as long as I’ve kept those everything’s fine.

So in the next time I do work for something – it’s not going to be about the value of it, but it’s the value I make with it.

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DECLUTTERING FACEBOOK

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I was on my bed scrolling down and up through my Facebook timeline a while ago and it hit me – I’m literally walking in a sea of strangers. This made me think of how social media has made it so easy for people to come into our lives and for them to allow others into theirs so quickly. Not realizing how detrimental it is to real life and substantial connections.

With that thought I went in a mode of “decluttering” my facebook profile. So there I went unfriending and unfollowing (for acquaintances LOL) until I felt that scrolling up and down wasn’t that useless already.

Before I move on to my deeper thoughts here’s my checklist before unfriending/unfollowing someone:

1. ) You’re someone who I think won’t care for what I do

2.) You post uninteresting things. On a note it’s subjective.

3.) I just don’t know you.

Side note : I won’t because I think you’re cool.

On to the main show…

I actually did this because my timeline started to become a place of longing and fear. Longing for things I wish could happen in my life (which I needed to work on and be patient for) from people who I didn’t know or may not even care about me. Fear because this form of social media wasn’t social to me at all. Because all the people I cared about were drowned in a sea of people whom I thought I knew or were just plain strangers. And if facebook was all about connecting people you cared about I wasn’t able to do that.

I did this because I wanted connectivity and substance. To be part of things that the people I cared about cared about (what?) and see more of what I cared about in general. If I were to do this I needed to take off the weeds for new growth of something better.

So if you’re reading this and you have no affiliation with me on Facebook unfriend me. We’d both be doing ourselves a favor.

Thanks for reading!

I kinda wish I was more careful with accepting requests before. Here’s a song that I listened to while writing this. 

 

 

 

The Butterfly Effect and Other Things

It’s typical to find yourself alone thinking, what does it mean to be here? Probably religious dogma can answer that, but truly what does it mean to sit down and occupy a space in a place we never innately knew came from. I come by these a lot, to extents that I find myself observing rather than existing. I find myself in debates against myself, knowing vs ignorance, knowledge vs truth or are the thoughts within myself logically correct? It’s a paradox that brought me to more doors to open, a curiosity that created opportunities for individual and subjective realizations to the world. I don’t even know if any of them are correct.

One concept that  I truly keep close to heart, the one I love, cherish and believe is the The Butterfly Effect. It’s the universal connection of each and everyone of us, it sort of reminds me of a lever. Where a small force equals to a larger force at the end, just how small changes can lead to big and meaningful changes that we can never know about. It’s perplexing to think of it, to see the numerous possibilities of one action. It’s an endless weave through fates unwinding before your very eyes and you don’t even see it.

My mother always told me “don’t think too much” “Go with the flow” As I was I found it a waste. I mean, what’s there if you never thought? It’s a complete bore to see things as they are and not what could be through tweaks or subtle mutations, after all we evolve in the process. In the end, I found myself in fault. I misunderstood the concept. It wasn’t about taking things for granted, or forgetting about what truly matters most. It was all about taking a seat on the greatest trip, and see things as they evolved and consequently learn from them.

But even though, I find myself in doubt. Not of myself, but of the kind of person I am and the possibilities of others. It’s rare to find someone who can connect with the thoughts of my own and share an experience that lead to large alterations, especially WITHOUT prideful narcissism or passionate advocacy to their own subjective philosophies. It’s a rarity, but I am thankful that I do have a few who share the same sentiments, people who I can talk to and participate in a phenomena of the exchange of ideas. But I love everyone

Truly, this blog has been the only thing that has kept me sane and sharp from time to time (but I find myself blunt sometimes, it’s normal right?) and from reading my previous posts from months ago, it’s time for a revamp.

I’ve Been Having Questions.

 

Found on Google Images – http://favim.com/image/152072/

So it’s two months into the whole college thing and I’m already getting a full hang of it, living alone is definitely fun when you know what to do *wink* (Sorry for the bad joke.)

I kind of just came back from the local laundry shop to get my clothes cleaned, and bought some ice too on the way back and I’m here right now with a 1 Litre bottle filled with ice cold “Ice Tea” (By Nestea <– Greatest stuff!)

Okay, I’ve been having questions. It’s not much of a big deal nor was I in a pensive state when these things came up but I’ve been questioning existence. Yes, existence. It’s a weird phenomenon really, we walk this earth, do things like eat and talk may it be by a coffee shop or that place your friends loved to hang out it in, but why?

Why are we here? I don’t know. And that’s some depressing stuff. I’m not trying to be sacrilege here, I believe in a higher power but I was wondering why was there a creation? What’s beyond us? What’s there outside earth’s atmosphere? Again, I don’t know.

It’s a scary thing though, what’s beyond. We live normal here on earth, but it would be impossible if there were no other races or “kinds” of humanoids out there. Aliens maybe. A general question though, why are there other planets besides earth? If we are so sure about evolution and random creation, where did these planets come from? Someone must have created them. But, why?

Just like the stars, there are so many of them, we see them every night. But compared to the Sun to the Earth, the Earth is half. What do you think those stars are there for? The constellations, the orbits, all the epic stuff beyond us, what is there? I don’t know.

I’m pretty sure someone smarter than me must have figured that out, but the fact that simple things like the random thingamadoodles you see on the ground, may it be dust or pebbles – what was the origin of them? What was our origin? What is our purpose? I don’t know.

I think I’ve moved myself away from reality a bit to realize these and I think it’s a good thing. To conclude this, the beauty of life is that it is what it is. You don’t know what it is really, but in ourselves we know how to live and all we have to do is follow that. That deep meaning inside, and see what happens.

 

She Sat There

English: Flowers of Apricot at the rain ( , Du...
English: Flowers of Apricot at the rain ( , Dusheti Dist) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

She sat there. On a rustic green bench placed on a vintage sidewalk winding around a drenched city park. She faced the other side of the road full of shops and what not, from local dress shops to the tastiest coffee shop. It was raining, her hair was wet, her makeup smudged and her 900$ heels wet to the point of breaking. She didn’t care. To her left was a couple, newly found, cuddling under a dark blue umbrella. The man, shielding his love against the rain as if he’d do it forever. Then she thought. What is love? Is it something that happens because we are built to do so? Or is it a choice? To make it or break it? What is life? What is the purpose of existence? Why was she even sitting here? Where did she live? What was her name? Then a flash.

It was like an 80s slideshow, frames rolled against a main light source. Like images meeting a white wall on black and white, that is what happened to her. Images started to flow through, images from her birth, when her mother was still sedated and her father scooping her up from the nurse’s palms, such a small thing she was. Images from her high-school years, her first love, her first heartbreak, her second and her last. She started to feel a pain. A pain because of mere realization. It kicked in. All her monotonous days, her depressive coworkers and the time she wasted. It was seeping in, like a sponge absorbing water. She felt soft. She was melting.

The rain ceased and against the horizon was a sun setting, hidden by the heavy clouds in grays and white. It was a weird view from her left, the couple she saw still stayed, the man pointing up to the sun while his love ignored and held her stare. She cupped his cheeks and gave him a kiss. He turned towards her and looked into her eyes then smiled.

It was sad for her to see that but she looked away and gave a weak smile. She looked up, the sun was blooming fully, birds started to chirp and the smell of rain strengthened. She then stood up, she paused and knew what to do. She decided to turn her life around.

*Main thought I want to deliver on this short is that whatever happens, it’s never too late to take control! It starts from you!

 

Daily Prompt : Connect the Dots [Post Idea]

The Daily Post posted another “Daily Prompt” and here is what it said :

“Open your nearest book to page 82. Take the third full sentence on the page, and work it into a post somehow.”

Hmm… the nearest book would be the one I’m currently reading since of course such book would never be more than an inch away from me wherever I am. And that lucky book would be “Serpent’s Silver” a pocketbook by Piers Anthony,and Robert E. Margroff.

Alright page 82. Third full sentence. “Jac wanted her. She had no doubt of that! Why couldn’t she desire him instead of a stranger? She knew Jac was a good man, a fine thief, and a true patriot who wanted to overthrow their king.”

Now working this whole quote into a post….

Let’s say I’ll be sharing my first impressions and opinions of this quaint line.

First off, as you can see, Jac obviously wanted “her” and it seems she is not oblivious about it but she doubts herself and laments on her disability to want him instead of someone else, despite him being a good man, a very fine thief with an aim to overthrow their king.

But the question is “Who is this stranger she compares to Jac?” “What significance is this stranger to her that he becomes an option?” and the answer? I do not know. How unfortunate.

Maybe this “stranger” shares the same traits as Jac but the only difference is that Jac actually wants to be with her but this John Doe doesn’t but even though she is still dubious.

But really, who the hell is “her” ? ?