Ivan 2.0

 

Hey there! this post marks the new age of writing for me on this blog. Last I checked the most recent piece was from a little bit more than a year ago, that was quite a while.

I began this blog initially to practice writing and through the years it slowly became a medium for me to express a little bit of my feelings going through life and figuring things out. I recall writing about my first experiences living alone, dealing with college life in a hectic course and just being confused about my emotions all in all.

Now roughly 6 years into the process I’ve finally found a way to grab life by its neck (I really genuinely feel that). I’m graduating from college very soon and I’ll eventually will be fending for myself. Looking back it’s amazing to see how much I’ve progressed as an individual, maybe not as much as others but to see movement in my being gives me confidence that life does get better.

Along with renaming the blog from “Ivan’s Brain” to “Ivan 2.0” I’ve simplified the site and added some small variations to make it a little bit different from the previous layout, made it more readable per say. I think it’s a good way to begin this new thing that’s going on in my life and I’m absolutely excited that I’ve regained some passion for writing again.

So to conclude this post, I want to say that I still am clueless of my future – clueless in a sense that I’m aware of the possibilities and I see that there are many, clueless out of curiosity if that makes any sense.

One take away from all these years that I have come to realize is – we must be fearless. I figured that achieving my dreams would be a difficult feat and it meant that I need to undergo multiple transformations to reach it and the only way to weather it is to be LITERALLY fearless (in a smart way of course).

You may be wondering why do I have a bike as header for this post – that’s actually one of my dream bikes, the Kawasaki Ninja 400 which I plan to have in the next few years. I can tell you with no FEAR – I WILL have that bike. Watch out for that blog post about it soon, thanks for reading!

Ninja 400_2.jpg

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The Overthinker

That’s me. Like crap I overthink like crazy – i hate it. Someone comments on a post boom instantly pops up on that and starts thinking of some reply back. Thinking’s good but going over that? a big NO. It’s so damn annoying when every little thing has to have some meaning or every little task has a multitude of outcomes in my head, great I’m analytical – but too much analysis just drives me crazy.

I remember thinking that this blog would be my personal diary and for a week I straight off posted everyday. Looking at it now it’s more of like a place to just let go of all the emotions I’m feeling. If you know me and we’ve never talked – this is as personal as you can get to knowing me without actually putting effort to knowing who I am.

Lastly, I overthink to the point where I think this is actually stupid and how many people would actually think it is just because it’s so “easy” to walk away from. I say they don’t think enough.

Thanks for reading this short!

Wearing Uniforms And Living Life

Uniforms are cool. Like really cool. NOT. But at least for tomorrow it is, and that’s for me. My friends and I formed a pack that we’d all wear uniforms tomorrow even though it’d be fourteen days early (14 <– In case you need it numerical) and it’s somewhat exciting. Just a week ago I tried it on after picking it up from the school’s uniform “lounge” (which is basically a hallway filled with random custom tailors that make uniforms for you) and man, I looked cool. Cool as ice!

That’s the uniforms bit but the real highlight of this blog post is about Life. I mean, what can I say about life? Not much really, I’m just seventeen. But the recent events that I’ve created and attended to gave me some sort of revelation. A few hours ago I pretty much commuted almost 3/4 of Cebu City just to get our Design 1 class project done with and it was fruitful. Literally fruitful. Fruits were raining everywhere, especially mangoes, a LOT of mangoes fell down from the earth. It’s like Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs all over again, but the meatballs part would be fruit. Kidding! (I loved that movie!)

Don’t we all want to know?

So back to the story. I pretty much had myself to myself despite my buddy with me, I was just me. No one controlled me, just me. There were no boundaries as to what I wanted to do, the only limit I could achieve is the one I created for myself. Which made me understand the whole purpose of independence or the free will that God gave us. It’s weird really, really weird. I’m not sure for you guys, but it just feels so different. I’m sure if you’re around my age or younger, most of the things you do are either motivated by rebellion or your parents, which to you could either be bad for one, or both. To me my motivation is me. Pretty much just me. My family too! But not the kind of motivation where you have to do it because of the mere requisite of doing it, maybe because your mom told you or your dad, or because you’re scared to become a nobody in the future which by the way I find pathetic if someone does believe it. It’s kind of hypocritical, you fear of being a nobody, when the act of thinking just that makes you just it. One of “them”.

But what really drives me is purpose now, instead of someone else. Just a year back, living with my parents, the only thing that got me waking up in the morning to go to school was Dad’s anger, or Mom’s schedule (She never wanted to arrive late to her School; she’s a teacher by the way), but right now I just feel like I want to do it. I want it because I think it’s practical, or I just really want to do it.

Conclusion. I’ve learnt how to live life. Now all I have to do is get this college thing over with flying colors (which the Nuns back in my High School said all the time!) and Live (-liv).

So whoever you are, maybe a random person or a blogger on WordPress or whatever, share your thoughts! What have you learnt from life? Or what do you think you’ll be getting into in the future? Comment those goodies down below!

*All images used in this blog post are taken from Google Images and is no way made by myself. Credits goes to all those who created them.