People not Objects


I just recently lost something really important to me. I’ve never put in so much care and dedication to one thing and losing it was a huge blow. It was so weird to realize how much it actually affected me, it put me in a state of anger, hatred and negativity that it took me off guard.

Looking back I’m actually thankful that it happened. It opened my eyes to how much value I give to material things and how toxic it was. To a point out of anger I told my girlfriend it was more important than her – and that was wrong. SO WRONG. How can such a small thing make say things like that – objects are objects and people are people. They are not the same thing nor should they both have equal importance.

This experience has led me to rethink my life. To rethink how things affect how I feel and what truly matters to me. Today I let go of that, let go of the materialistic identity and transfer all the focus I had on it into things that truly matter the MOST. And that’s to my family, loved ones and people.

Deeply I am saddened. Saddened that I lost something that I worked really hard to get and experienced so many awesome events with it. But really all it was a medium to those experiences, as long as I’ve kept those everything’s fine.

So in the next time I do work for something – it’s not going to be about the value of it, but it’s the value I make with it.


On Thinking Too hard.

As an Architecture student, I strive to get past myself (I’m not sure about others but that’s me). You could go so far thinking about Architecture as compositions of columns, beams and walls and spaces, but I believe it’s more than that.Just a year ago I approached an impenetrable wall. It was so high – too high in fact that I thought “crap, how am I suppose to get over this?”. It was a wall between me and my own creativity.

You see, creativity was something I had to really  seek, not like others who already had it from the start and went along with it for their whole lives, and I used to be that kind. Anything goes, but I was very young back then, playing with LEGOS, drawing and experimenting, and it really is true! The older you get, most of the time, you lose that inner creativity. Lucky enough I took such an amazing course that forcefully released that inner self of mine shouting to get out. Back to the wall.

I distinctly remember myself taking down notes and sketching ideas on a black notebook I bought and ended in a loop every “new” (redundant) idea I had. I literally went no where. It was as if the day repeated itself all over again every SINGLE time. I never really realized it then, but I was thinking too hard. You see, Creativity I believe is nonchalant and free and given that it’s something I believe is unique in every one. It’s not something you think about, it’s just there waiting for you to free it. From what I learned the Thinking shackles the Creativity.

Okay okay I know what you’re thinking “How the hell can y995071_701617313225186_1915145818609813432_nou come up with ideas if you don’t think??” Well here’s one question I have for you “Can you tell me in full detail how you think?” You can get away with the “I first analyse this and that then arrive into a conclusion bla bla bla” but really can you? Can you visualize the stuff going on in your brain on the moment you read that question? I think not. That previously quoted line is a form of thinking too hard, from it you usually get nothing but floppy ideas that literally can’t stand on its own.

Amazing idea are the ones that just pop into your head, when you don’t think about it (Spoiler : We’re all creative!). It’s not something you wait for or think about but rather a reaction to something (Spoiler 2 : Inspiration). The idea is your subconscious’ reaction to the world, to a problem or to whatever needs ideas. That’s why many articles on creativity always tell you “Just Relax!” “Just do something!” because ideas are inspired and not thought about. Then once you get a harness with that “idea” That’s when you reinforce it and guide it with the thinking. It’s basically how creativity and logic work hand in hand.

Now a “year” has passed and I’m here writing this.  I too remember myself scratching my head for an idea to write about, I never really expected that the “idea” itself would be the topic of the day (Wow!) I myself still fall into the trap of thinking too much, maybe because of frustration, stress?, pressure or just trying to catch up. Even though I always put myself into a passive state, looking for that inspiring moment and I tell you – It never fails! (To get into the mood I sometimes hum random tunes or even do things I don’t like; an example? Dishes)

We think too much, maybe it’s time to slow down and just let life take over (for a while). That’s what we need in a world of robotic jobs and taken for granted days. Just a pause.

Here’s a song that inspired me to write this. Initially I wanted to write a poem of what I wanted to do, but then I thought of the catalyst to all forms of writing. 

The Butterfly Effect and Other Things

It’s typical to find yourself alone thinking, what does it mean to be here? Probably religious dogma can answer that, but truly what does it mean to sit down and occupy a space in a place we never innately knew came from. I come by these a lot, to extents that I find myself observing rather than existing. I find myself in debates against myself, knowing vs ignorance, knowledge vs truth or are the thoughts within myself logically correct? It’s a paradox that brought me to more doors to open, a curiosity that created opportunities for individual and subjective realizations to the world. I don’t even know if any of them are correct.

One concept that  I truly keep close to heart, the one I love, cherish and believe is the The Butterfly Effect. It’s the universal connection of each and everyone of us, it sort of reminds me of a lever. Where a small force equals to a larger force at the end, just how small changes can lead to big and meaningful changes that we can never know about. It’s perplexing to think of it, to see the numerous possibilities of one action. It’s an endless weave through fates unwinding before your very eyes and you don’t even see it.

My mother always told me “don’t think too much” “Go with the flow” As I was I found it a waste. I mean, what’s there if you never thought? It’s a complete bore to see things as they are and not what could be through tweaks or subtle mutations, after all we evolve in the process. In the end, I found myself in fault. I misunderstood the concept. It wasn’t about taking things for granted, or forgetting about what truly matters most. It was all about taking a seat on the greatest trip, and see things as they evolved and consequently learn from them.

But even though, I find myself in doubt. Not of myself, but of the kind of person I am and the possibilities of others. It’s rare to find someone who can connect with the thoughts of my own and share an experience that lead to large alterations, especially WITHOUT prideful narcissism or passionate advocacy to their own subjective philosophies. It’s a rarity, but I am thankful that I do have a few who share the same sentiments, people who I can talk to and participate in a phenomena of the exchange of ideas. But I love everyone

Truly, this blog has been the only thing that has kept me sane and sharp from time to time (but I find myself blunt sometimes, it’s normal right?) and from reading my previous posts from months ago, it’s time for a revamp.

I Think She’s My Soul Mate

Okay, so most probably Mom (or Dad) would be reading this, so hi Mom! Or Dad. Not that I’m expecting them to see it, if at all costs I’d rather hide this blog in some sort online vault with the most complicated password but then again I’m not insinuating that I’m entirely embarrassed of confessing my feelings here on this blog post about the person that I’ll be talking about today or tonight, wherever YOU are around the world. I’m actually pretty excited to put this down into words. AND sorry for that really long sentence, grammatically wrong but I’d prefer to get the point out there.

Meeting your soul mate is most probably the rarest thing to happen, I mean it’s not everyday you get to meet a person literally, let me repeat that LITERALLY the same as you. Putting into context the different mother and father that participated into bringing a child to this earth given that both parents are mutually strangers, chances are that someone there actually thinks the same way as you do is pretty rad, and freaky at the same time (the good kind). Cooler (freakier) than that is that you actually meet them. For me, I met her in college, ironically in a course that I considered to be my soul mate. (It’s Architecture by the way *winks*)

Her name’s pretty cool, so cool that I decided to keep it a secret from you knobby fellows who steal names for no valid reason at all. Given (again) that such burglars of names exist, I’d rather keep my guard up and seal her name down to the bones. Davy Jones? Too deep. But here’s what I can say, it’s a lovely name.

I posted months ago about my ideal girl(friend) stating facts and truths existing deep in my heart and soul, you could read it here and to my astonishment she fit. She literally fit the category, and I wasn’t even looking for her! Would you believe that? Love that was never found, FOUND! She fit so good that if I were to have a perfect shoe size, she’d be the one! (She IS not a shoe so please, back off. In case you’re thinking that *grins*)

To simplify her into a list, I’d most probably have a huge grocery list of only the stuff I want and all of them I NEED, which is extra nice. Imagine having a divinely proportioned meal balancing junk food and veggies, it’s like having a gourmet meal three times a day!

But realistically speaking, she’s everything that I most probably want and NEED in the future. I’ve read somewhere online that most people find their life partners at around the ages of 16-18+ and I think I hit a gold mine. She most probably is! Not that I’m jumping into conclusions or anything, nor am I saying all of this without putting into account the left side of my brain, it’s just that the solution fits! Logically she’s the one, romantically she still is the one! What else could I ask for?

She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s smart, she’s funny, she’s pretty, she’s most probably the greatest architect I’ve ever met (will meet that is when we do both become architects!) and she’s so much like the golden section! Read more here. She’s a boy scout (Yes, not a girl scout. She’s one of the females who got that chance to be one in her batch and she took it! That is so cool!!!!!) and she is definitely more resourceful than me! She’s open minded, logical and adventurous. And so many things! She’s like a cave that I want to explore and see the treasures inside, she’s a paradise!

I most probably will be judged by my clouded perspective since common sense of today says that when you’re in love you don’t really take into account the bads but screw that, in economics scarcity doesn’t exist with me and her, and the opportunity vs cost between her and I tips to the left more than to the right. So yes, she’s my Soul Mate.

One thing about love is that, you can never give some. You give it in full or you don’t, you take a risk and see what happens. No one can predict the future, and besides love not given in full is like eating chicken half cooked, and that’s bad.

Let me ask, what’s your “kind” of soul mate?

I’ve Been Having Questions.


Found on Google Images –

So it’s two months into the whole college thing and I’m already getting a full hang of it, living alone is definitely fun when you know what to do *wink* (Sorry for the bad joke.)

I kind of just came back from the local laundry shop to get my clothes cleaned, and bought some ice too on the way back and I’m here right now with a 1 Litre bottle filled with ice cold “Ice Tea” (By Nestea <– Greatest stuff!)

Okay, I’ve been having questions. It’s not much of a big deal nor was I in a pensive state when these things came up but I’ve been questioning existence. Yes, existence. It’s a weird phenomenon really, we walk this earth, do things like eat and talk may it be by a coffee shop or that place your friends loved to hang out it in, but why?

Why are we here? I don’t know. And that’s some depressing stuff. I’m not trying to be sacrilege here, I believe in a higher power but I was wondering why was there a creation? What’s beyond us? What’s there outside earth’s atmosphere? Again, I don’t know.

It’s a scary thing though, what’s beyond. We live normal here on earth, but it would be impossible if there were no other races or “kinds” of humanoids out there. Aliens maybe. A general question though, why are there other planets besides earth? If we are so sure about evolution and random creation, where did these planets come from? Someone must have created them. But, why?

Just like the stars, there are so many of them, we see them every night. But compared to the Sun to the Earth, the Earth is half. What do you think those stars are there for? The constellations, the orbits, all the epic stuff beyond us, what is there? I don’t know.

I’m pretty sure someone smarter than me must have figured that out, but the fact that simple things like the random thingamadoodles you see on the ground, may it be dust or pebbles – what was the origin of them? What was our origin? What is our purpose? I don’t know.

I think I’ve moved myself away from reality a bit to realize these and I think it’s a good thing. To conclude this, the beauty of life is that it is what it is. You don’t know what it is really, but in ourselves we know how to live and all we have to do is follow that. That deep meaning inside, and see what happens.


What’s on my Mind?

Lionel Messi taking a freekick. (Photo Credit : )

Hey there guys! Today I woke up thinking. Thinking about what really “fits” me or what things I should be really sticking to. You see, I play football (soccer). I really love the game. I loved it so much that at some point in my past I even decided to quit college just for it. But that was then and I do agree, it was stupid.

Last week I played a match against the local Indonesian team in an 11-a-side set. I played a defender for the Philippines and was duly annoyed that I was placed there (I’m not much of a defender). The whole match was atrocious. I let a few strikers pass me and allowed them to score a goal. The after effect wasn’t pleasant and I had to be subbed out. It felt bad for me. My morale just went haywire and my confidence drained out. Then I thought “Maybe football isn’t for me after all.

It’s Remy!

The following events led to thoughts, this post and to the movie Ratatouille. To tell you. Ratatouille is my all time favorite movie followed by The Hobbit. The movie was just a great example of hope and the results of determination. Who’d think that a mere rat could become the best cook in France? Though this may not be possible in real life, the thought of it makes everything worth it. If a rat could become a cook, why not a boy become whatever he wants to be right?

In Ratatouille, many quotes were mentioned about passion, hard work and purpose. But it’s just this one that really struck me or at least made everything clearer for me. It’s a quote by Anton Ego, the former bitter Food Critic.

“Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.” – Food critic Anton Ego

Mr Anton Ego.

It’s really true what Anton says. But is it ever too late to become an artist? It’s a constant debate in my head whether things should be treated as an art or just another pedestal that helps in our growth. Though it is my presumption, another quote popped out and made that one even clearer. It’s by (coincidentally) Anton’s counterpart Chef Gusteau.

“Anyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great.” – Chef Auguste Gusteau

Chef Gusteau from Remy’s point of view.

Chef Gusteau is a genius. Especially the one that created him in the process. So I see how taking risks is important, he even said it “the fearless can be great”. Maybe these doubts should be shunned and disregarded, maybe I should stop these assumptions. Can I be great? I believe so. Can you be great? I believe.

Football may not be for me, I may not be a great player at the moment. But should I take the dive, greatness is just a fall away! What’s on my mind? It’s this, it’s the possibilities.

Here’s an amazing track from Ratatouille that I really Iove so much even though it’s French. I took some time to read the lyrics and memorize it, now I can sing along. It’s just beautiful!

We are all famous..

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View from my bedroom window

It’s an unusual afternoon today here in my room. The sky is overcast, clouds refuse the sun’s hot though brilliant rays from touching Bahraini ground. I sit here on my chair facing the laptop’s screen, thinking and carefully conjuring a plausible explanation to why we are all famous.

Alright, the definition of famous according to the dictionary :

” Adjective : Famous [ fey – mus ] – Widely known and esteemed “

Now, famous according to this generation.

” Adjective : Famous [ fey-mus ] – Very well known and pried upon. “

Well I can agree we are all not the new famous but the old famous. But we are famous to the extent that we don’t know it. If you disagree then at least agree that we are all well known.

 Why? Well try to widen your horizons. This post itself for example. Let’s look at it from they eyes of a reader ( which is you ) – You’ll suspect that it’s just another post by Ivan and read it or not. But you mentioned my name so that makes me known. And if you read it, you read my own work thus making me known. You could either think about the post all day and tell someone about it or not, but you made me known.

[ credits to ]

That’s in the point of view of one person. Let’s jump on to other perspectives. Let’s take myself for an example – I’m thinking right now what dad is thinking about, he could think about me or other things but the thought of him was there thus making him known. What about other bloggers? Do they like my work? And other more questions that lead to me. If you really think about it, other people are thinking about you no matter it be one or two. We are all known.

Like right now, I’m thinking about a friend of mine though he/she doesn’t know it. It makes him/her known. What are the chances that I’m the only one contemplating on them? That wouldn’t be unlikely. So I guess we are all famous. It’s just that we don’t know it. At this moment someone is thinking about someone and that someone would also think about another. What if all thoughts of the earth were visible and combined. It would definitely form a similar structure to the brain and the internet.

( credits to ) #Vmob turns out to mean Vampire Mob, but you get the message.

We are all famous. So the bottom line, Whatever you do – you become known whether you do it elusively or not. Which also leads to the most  common way of making an impact ” is to change yourself ” – since yourself leads to thoughts to others, doing good and being inspired will most of the time do the same to others, same thing the other way around. If all people somehow realize this – I’m sure the world would be a better place. End.

 Thanks for reading guys! Hope you guys have a happy weekend!

[ What are your thoughts on “unknown fame”? Comment below! ]