On Thinking Too hard.

As an Architecture student, I strive to get past myself (I’m not sure about others but that’s me). You could go so far thinking about Architecture as compositions of columns, beams and walls and spaces, but I believe it’s more than that.Just a year ago I approached an impenetrable wall. It was so high – too high in fact that I thought “crap, how am I suppose to get over this?”. It was a wall between me and my own creativity.

You see, creativity was something I had to really  seek, not like others who already had it from the start and went along with it for their whole lives, and I used to be that kind. Anything goes, but I was very young back then, playing with LEGOS, drawing and experimenting, and it really is true! The older you get, most of the time, you lose that inner creativity. Lucky enough I took such an amazing course that forcefully released that inner self of mine shouting to get out. Back to the wall.

I distinctly remember myself taking down notes and sketching ideas on a black notebook I bought and ended in a loop every “new” (redundant) idea I had. I literally went no where. It was as if the day repeated itself all over again every SINGLE time. I never really realized it then, but I was thinking too hard. You see, Creativity I believe is nonchalant and free and given that it’s something I believe is unique in every one. It’s not something you think about, it’s just there waiting for you to free it. From what I learned the Thinking shackles the Creativity.

Okay okay I know what you’re thinking “How the hell can y995071_701617313225186_1915145818609813432_nou come up with ideas if you don’t think??” Well here’s one question I have for you “Can you tell me in full detail how you think?” You can get away with the “I first analyse this and that then arrive into a conclusion bla bla bla” but really can you? Can you visualize the stuff going on in your brain on the moment you read that question? I think not. That previously quoted line is a form of thinking too hard, from it you usually get nothing but floppy ideas that literally can’t stand on its own.

Amazing idea are the ones that just pop into your head, when you don’t think about it (Spoiler : We’re all creative!). It’s not something you wait for or think about but rather a reaction to something (Spoiler 2 : Inspiration). The idea is your subconscious’ reaction to the world, to a problem or to whatever needs ideas. That’s why many articles on creativity always tell you “Just Relax!” “Just do something!” because ideas are inspired and not thought about. Then once you get a harness with that “idea” That’s when you reinforce it and guide it with the thinking. It’s basically how creativity and logic work hand in hand.

Now a “year” has passed and I’m here writing this.  I too remember myself scratching my head for an idea to write about, I never really expected that the “idea” itself would be the topic of the day (Wow!) I myself still fall into the trap of thinking too much, maybe because of frustration, stress?, pressure or just trying to catch up. Even though I always put myself into a passive state, looking for that inspiring moment and I tell you – It never fails! (To get into the mood I sometimes hum random tunes or even do things I don’t like; an example? Dishes)

We think too much, maybe it’s time to slow down and just let life take over (for a while). That’s what we need in a world of robotic jobs and taken for granted days. Just a pause.

Here’s a song that inspired me to write this. Initially I wanted to write a poem of what I wanted to do, but then I thought of the catalyst to all forms of writing. 

20 Facts About Me

Credits to a Friend of mine

I don’t think I’ve raised enough influence for people to even care about these but hey to think of it, it’s actually more of a “for me” kind of thing. I ended up learning a few things about myself whilst writing. Andddd It was typical for people to write a few words, so I did the complete opposite.

First of all I was tagged on Facebook by my good friend AJ (Bruhhh!) and another friend Angel. If ever they read this, god bless both of you! So Here it goes!

  • I find happiness in recluse. It’s even more confusing how I interchange this with the opposite of having a lot of people around. But since I’ve been this way most of the time, it’s where I channel most of my happiness.
  • I’m in ways a deep thinker. I often find myself digging into deeper concepts of simple ideas at any given time, but I love it.
  • I revel in seeing the potential of others. I find myself duly impressed by the numbers of possibilities people can do as particulars and universals. To see the possible outcomes of each friend and stranger is, to me, highly interesting.
  • I have a thirst for speed. In more specific terms, efficiency. Every time I learn a new thing, the first thing that comes to my mind is “How the heck do I get this done faster??” Then I go into a process of attempting to do so until finally I give up to doing some more solid research through the vast internetz.
  • I’m abstracrete. It’s not a real word, but a combination of abstract and concrete. I find myself between two of these which is sometimes a problem, either I become too real or too unreal.
  • I love designing. It could be anything, chairs, a car, etc. It’s so good because it allows me to translate all my ideas whether it has been done before or subjectively novel.
  • I love to sketch. I could have said draw but sketching is so different, it’s a natural connection between the mind and hand. It’s loose and expressive, that’s why. I’m pretty sure some of you might know what I mean
  • I’m a tester. I literally test, basically experiment with things. Try to see the outcomes of them since I’ve never tried them before.
  • I love architecture. Art to me could never be as expressive as Architecture. It’s a living art, it breathes and speaks, simply an extension of nature.
  • I’m into music. I spent awhile trying to sentence this out right without having to imply a complete endless unbiased love for music, because of two things – I don’t, 2nd I just deep inside me don’t. But I do listen to music a lot, have you ever heard of The Strokes? The Drums? And anymore bands that start with The? Haha
  • I’m passionate. I sometimes amaze myself when I am, I memorize pictures, I finish projects quick and I become an idea machine, probably the next Vitruvius. But passion is what runs me, and it works for everything. Now the sad and deadly part, when I lose it
  • I have a thing for books. I’m not a book expert and I can’t tell you my top 100 book authors and each line they wrote best, but I love books. The smell, the information, the imagery its subtle reeling touch to the author’s mind for the reader to experience
  • I have a thing for writing. Honestly, influenced by how sentences were beautifully patterned and written down, I swear words to me are like images and I just love looking at them, interacting with it and understanding them. But then you wouldn’t call me a grammar nazi or a writing nerd.
  • I’m perceptive. I try to see things in new ways and past them, I’m not THAT innovative yet but maybe that’s just what I think, for now.
  • I love COLORS. I can appreciate a bad drawing with beautifully composed colors and not an intricate near perfection line drawing with more or less crappy chosen colors. That’s just how I go (yohw!)
  • I’m complex. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing. Usually how I see beauty is between the complexity of things and its simple counter parts. That’s why in Architecture I don’t find complex ideas amazing but rather complex ideas designed in a simple way which I I’m trying oh so hard to achieve.
  • I’m a frequent study-er of people. I often analyze the movements and actions of people, trying to figure out why they truly did certain actions, what influenced the expression or the end thought, the composition of the bones that composed the action etc. which is kind of awkward when I accidentally stare at someone and they look and I just glance away. I am so bad. Please don’t mistake this as being a stalker. And then again, you can’t call me a physicist or a psychologist  in any way.
  • I am a doer of so many things and a master of none. I could say I’m sufficiently good at drawing, but I just try so many things that I tend to not master any one.
  • I’m a Geek. Not a nerd, a Geek. Due to my fluctuating thoughts I cannot know everything which makes me a non-nerd but I still find the smallest things interesting, but I’m a Geek because of my passion for the hobbies that I have. I know stuff about Speedcubing, Drawing and Painting, Design and other things that get me passionate. Basically, I’m a nerd for specific things and not the entire universe. To think of it, I should be none. Geeks don’t call themselves geeks, yikess!
  • Lastly, I love bringing people together. I like to take a group of people willing to participate in an activity that encourages creativity and awesome dooblidoos! And being a part of it

So that my friends are 20 facts about me. Now I nominate YOU to write your own. Just don’t forget to say that  “Ivan” told me to *winks* Goodbye!

The Butterfly Effect and Other Things

It’s typical to find yourself alone thinking, what does it mean to be here? Probably religious dogma can answer that, but truly what does it mean to sit down and occupy a space in a place we never innately knew came from. I come by these a lot, to extents that I find myself observing rather than existing. I find myself in debates against myself, knowing vs ignorance, knowledge vs truth or are the thoughts within myself logically correct? It’s a paradox that brought me to more doors to open, a curiosity that created opportunities for individual and subjective realizations to the world. I don’t even know if any of them are correct.

One concept that  I truly keep close to heart, the one I love, cherish and believe is the The Butterfly Effect. It’s the universal connection of each and everyone of us, it sort of reminds me of a lever. Where a small force equals to a larger force at the end, just how small changes can lead to big and meaningful changes that we can never know about. It’s perplexing to think of it, to see the numerous possibilities of one action. It’s an endless weave through fates unwinding before your very eyes and you don’t even see it.

My mother always told me “don’t think too much” “Go with the flow” As I was I found it a waste. I mean, what’s there if you never thought? It’s a complete bore to see things as they are and not what could be through tweaks or subtle mutations, after all we evolve in the process. In the end, I found myself in fault. I misunderstood the concept. It wasn’t about taking things for granted, or forgetting about what truly matters most. It was all about taking a seat on the greatest trip, and see things as they evolved and consequently learn from them.

But even though, I find myself in doubt. Not of myself, but of the kind of person I am and the possibilities of others. It’s rare to find someone who can connect with the thoughts of my own and share an experience that lead to large alterations, especially WITHOUT prideful narcissism or passionate advocacy to their own subjective philosophies. It’s a rarity, but I am thankful that I do have a few who share the same sentiments, people who I can talk to and participate in a phenomena of the exchange of ideas. But I love everyone

Truly, this blog has been the only thing that has kept me sane and sharp from time to time (but I find myself blunt sometimes, it’s normal right?) and from reading my previous posts from months ago, it’s time for a revamp.

Symptoms Of Bibliophilia [Beware]

So you’re here, why? I don’t know it really depends but I’m assuming you are frightened, frightened for you life most probably because Bibliophilia is a serious condition. It has no cure and when one acquires any of these symptoms just one, well the person is definitely with no doubt what so ever suffering it.

Bibliophilia is experienced everywhere, to anyone and at any time. Despite the random probability of it happening, not much carry such profound “disease” let’s say. If you’re thinking that you suffer from it, then do please have a look at this short list of my discoveries as a Bibliophile.

You suffer chronic Bibliophilia when :

1. You Cannot Stop Reading

It could be about anything, but the main root cause is this simple act. The act of consistently reading all day at all times whatever the reading material may be. It could be the newspaper from a week ago or a random receipt from Starbucks (Interesting stuff you could find there!)

2. You Cannot Move On From A Book After Finishing One

This my friends is one solid symptom that could just smack you in the face saying “You’re a Bibliophile bro” But moving on is one thing and moving on from a BOOK is another. Bibliophiles cannot get this horrible symptom down, never has anyone done it.

3. You’d Rather Smell Like A Book Then The Fancy Better Smelling Perfumes

Okay this I have to agree with, numerous times I’ve caught myself rubbing a newly opened book on my face celebrating each sniff I made during that. I know it’s weird but I suffer bibliophilia.

4. You Believe That The Spine of a Book Is More Important Then You’re Own Spine

You know that crunchy feeling when you’re non-reader friend just opens up the book and bends the spine like “damn it! This book is the portal to heaven I MUST OPEN IT EVEN MORE” Yes I’ve experienced that and I remember crying inside for a week. (I claim no truth of the final line of this paragraph)

5. You Want To Write A Book But You Don’t Write A Book

It’s peculiar how bibliophiles always revel in the thought of being published and having their names on kids walls I mean that would be great but sometimes some of us just aren’t cut out for it. But Bibliophiles never stop dreaming! (Doing is of slight chance)

6. You Sometimes Have Two Of The Same Book

One is for reading over and over again and the other is for display purposes on the glorious book shelf! Trust me, this is NOT OCD.

7. You Buy Books But Don’t Read Them, Collecting Them Perhaps

It’s true I believe. I’ve been to second hand bookshops and have come across brilliant books costing less than a McDonalds Burger and finding myself buying then storing them into my Book Cornucopia accepting that it will be lost there forever without me reading it again.

8. You’d Rather Read A Good Book Then Go To The Coolest Party In Town

I know that these days, the more parties you go to the cooler you be – not to mention popular. But bibliophiles prefer to stay at home against a warm fireplace reading a good book.

So there most probably is more, I’m still in an extensive research of myself trying to understand why we are who we are. But I’m pretty sure there’s more! I’d love to know! Helps a lot with what I’m trying to conjure here! Comment them down below!

I hope this was a fun read! Adios :-)

[Being a Bibliophile is not bad at all, this was just written for humor and for fun!]

I Think She’s My Soul Mate

Okay, so most probably Mom (or Dad) would be reading this, so hi Mom! Or Dad. Not that I’m expecting them to see it, if at all costs I’d rather hide this blog in some sort online vault with the most complicated password but then again I’m not insinuating that I’m entirely embarrassed of confessing my feelings here on this blog post about the person that I’ll be talking about today or tonight, wherever YOU are around the world. I’m actually pretty excited to put this down into words. AND sorry for that really long sentence, grammatically wrong but I’d prefer to get the point out there.

Meeting your soul mate is most probably the rarest thing to happen, I mean it’s not everyday you get to meet a person literally, let me repeat that LITERALLY the same as you. Putting into context the different mother and father that participated into bringing a child to this earth given that both parents are mutually strangers, chances are that someone there actually thinks the same way as you do is pretty rad, and freaky at the same time (the good kind). Cooler (freakier) than that is that you actually meet them. For me, I met her in college, ironically in a course that I considered to be my soul mate. (It’s Architecture by the way *winks*)

Her name’s pretty cool, so cool that I decided to keep it a secret from you knobby fellows who steal names for no valid reason at all. Given (again) that such burglars of names exist, I’d rather keep my guard up and seal her name down to the bones. Davy Jones? Too deep. But here’s what I can say, it’s a lovely name.

I posted months ago about my ideal girl(friend) stating facts and truths existing deep in my heart and soul, you could read it here and to my astonishment she fit. She literally fit the category, and I wasn’t even looking for her! Would you believe that? Love that was never found, FOUND! She fit so good that if I were to have a perfect shoe size, she’d be the one! (She IS not a shoe so please, back off. In case you’re thinking that *grins*)

To simplify her into a list, I’d most probably have a huge grocery list of only the stuff I want and all of them I NEED, which is extra nice. Imagine having a divinely proportioned meal balancing junk food and veggies, it’s like having a gourmet meal three times a day!

But realistically speaking, she’s everything that I most probably want and NEED in the future. I’ve read somewhere online that most people find their life partners at around the ages of 16-18+ and I think I hit a gold mine. She most probably is! Not that I’m jumping into conclusions or anything, nor am I saying all of this without putting into account the left side of my brain, it’s just that the solution fits! Logically she’s the one, romantically she still is the one! What else could I ask for?

She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s smart, she’s funny, she’s pretty, she’s most probably the greatest architect I’ve ever met (will meet that is when we do both become architects!) and she’s so much like the golden section! Read more here. She’s a boy scout (Yes, not a girl scout. She’s one of the females who got that chance to be one in her batch and she took it! That is so cool!!!!!) and she is definitely more resourceful than me! She’s open minded, logical and adventurous. And so many things! She’s like a cave that I want to explore and see the treasures inside, she’s a paradise!

I most probably will be judged by my clouded perspective since common sense of today says that when you’re in love you don’t really take into account the bads but screw that, in economics scarcity doesn’t exist with me and her, and the opportunity vs cost between her and I tips to the left more than to the right. So yes, she’s my Soul Mate.

One thing about love is that, you can never give some. You give it in full or you don’t, you take a risk and see what happens. No one can predict the future, and besides love not given in full is like eating chicken half cooked, and that’s bad.

Let me ask, what’s your “kind” of soul mate?

He Made A Note (On Humanity)

tumblr_mqot7cGQQk1qfaioqo1_500 He sat there. Just there. Where? There. On a bench, on the sidewalk, on a chair that no one has ever seen before. But who cares? He existed, he took space.

He saw the world around him, he saw nothing. He saw trees, he saw people but they were nothing. What was this? Was this a dream? What was he?

He flipped open his notebook and made a note “There is nothing”, that is what he wrote. He looked again, harder this time. Nothing.

He frowned and a tear. Why was he here? Was there a purpose? He made a note “Nothing”

He sat there. Staring as time passed him by, generations passed and he only grew weaker. Would there be an end?

It was his final day, he felt it in him. He felt the beat of his heart falter then he made his last note “Look Closer.”

He put down his note book just right next to him and faded.

Following day another took space and read the old book. He then took a note “It is beautiful”

What’s There To Write When There’s Nothing To Write

Okay, so this is it. I am back. From most probably the longest rest from blogging any blogger has ever seen before, a time span longer than the week last time I thought would never end. Honestly longer than my semester break – LITERALLY. You see, in my attempt to be humorous I tend to be superfluous (see what I did there?) And to answer that I did not do a thing.

Retro Packaging - Cool right?A friend of mine tweeted me a few days back telling me about her most favorite video (which according to her would be – in the next gazillion years) which turns out to be one of my videos, and that suffice to say was pretty inspiring. Yes, inspiring – I mean, no one really tells me that but hey! Now someone has. What would you feel if out of the blue someone told you on twitter of a video you made more than half a year back and proving that that video was one of a kind? I would buy myself two packs of Doritos and (shamelessly) steal El Macho’s secret taco sauce then dip those heck of a chip into that sauce and eat it. Epic. [If you do not know who El Macho is, then shame on you. You have not watched Despicable Me 2. See, I’m generous I’m giving you a hint!]

So roughly in five days school starts! Another hard ass four month journey learning and having fun! (Which most of the time isn’t, but hey – it’s something!) And shiver me timbers I’m excited. Really, I am. I wasn’t even sarcastic.

Semester Break to most might be the greatest escape, but to me, brothers and sisters, IT IS NOT. For almost a month I’ve been stuck home with no food supply whatsoever, and stuck on a routine of waking up, going out to eat then coming back which goes on until dinner and when sleepy time comes in. And FYI – it is TIRING. I would rather come up with proportioned measurements and build a scale model for a design project then go through this. Honestly, I would. But even though, it was a period of realization and self improvement. I’ve thought lots of things for the past month that I never would have thought about if school was still going on. And technically, semester break wasn’t really that bad.

I haven’t had any other huge momentous moment happen to me, but things are changing.

So here’s my one big question for you. What’s There To Write When There’s Nothing To Write? Alright guys! See you next post :)